Family Affair
by ilovecastlesoverymuch
Summary: This is my first ever fanfic so please don't be brutal. I wanted to do something a bit different and thought this up. What happens when one of the team gets a guest? Are family reunions always welcome? Eventual romance, maybe even M. See how it goes!
1. Chapter 1

It started as a normal day, well as normal as a day does for a homicide detective; gruesome murder, several of Castle's crazy theories, the shooting down of Castle's many crazy theories, suspects, alibis for said suspects, then the emerging of the real killer. Now all that was left was to head to the Old Haunt for some well deserved drinks courtesy of Castle.

"I'm telling you Beckett, I knew it was him all along. He gave me the creeps."

"As I recall Castle you also _knew_ it was the Butler, ex-wife, next door neighbour and let us not forget the rabid cat theory."

"What? They really looked like little claw marks, I would know, got Alexis a kitten when she was six, the sweetest thing you've ever seen, but apparently he saw me as his new scratching post. Let's just say Sir Furrlock didn't stay for too long in the castle home, never been able to look at cats the same way."

Beckett couldn't keep in her laugh any longer, where to start?

"You named a cat Furrlock?" Seemed like a good place to begin.

"Yeah, Furrlock Homes. He had the hat and everything, such a pity."

Her laughter only intensified. "Somehow I'm not surprised. But wasn't Alexis sad when she couldn't keep her new pet? I always wanted a cat or a dog but with mom and dad's work hours it wasn't really a practical idea."

"Oh no, luckily I'd decided to keep the new arrival as a surprise and brought it home while she was at school, by the time she was home any evidence of the thing being there was gone, well except we had an excessive amount of milk and cream for the next couple of weeks. But no, she never had to know."

"Too bad, I could imagine you with a little creature, pampering and spoiling it, probably a bit too much."

"Why would I need a pet detective? I have you, and I pamper and spoil you all the time; bring you coffee, bring my best wit and charm, offer theories that according to the laws of probability will someday prove correct and then whisk the whole team back to the best bar in the city for_free_drinks. If only you'd let me pet you."

Beckett picks up her coat and Castle begins helping her slip into it, turned away from him she utters quietly "Maybe someday Castle." When she feels his arms still she can't hold back her triumphant smirk. But Castle recovers rather quickly, well not without first choking on his quick intake of air which he tries to cover with a deep cough. It's winter right? Right now he's not sure what year he's in let alone the season. Coherent thought comes rushing back as he feels her winter coat in his hands. Yes winter! He could be getting a cold. He's been standing here a while hasn't he, she's going to think something's up. Of course she'll know though, she set him up for this. Damn woman would be the death of him, but what a death it would be.

As he finishes helping her into the coat she turns around again, and although she tries to hide it he can see the slight smirk she's fighting to stifle. The best death, he concludes.

"So the Old Haunt? I have a drink waiting with your name on it." He breaks the slightly awkward yet comfortable silence.

"Yeah let me just get these reports to Gates. You can hurry the boys along."

They both cast a look at the two men still bickering about who had gotten the guy to talk.

"Dude, it was all me. You see how he crumbled when I gave him my best 'you're in deep trouble, don't mess with me' look."

"Come on Espo, you know he was looking right at me when he confessed. Let it go, sometimes going for the 'I'm your pal and just want to help you' approach is more successful."

"Guys, guys! Can't we just settle for the good cop, bad cop routine always works and go to the Old Haunt already? Drinks are on me."

The boys both let out a long sigh and start collecting their things, Esposito's the first to talk, holding out his hand to Ryan. "Fine, I guess we both did pretty good in there."

Ryan shakes his hand. "Yeah man, I guess your look was pretty scary, I mean I'd confess."

A not so subtle cough turns their attention to the man next to them. "Not to interrupt the bromance moment, but it's pretty well." Both detectives offer him a confused expression. "You know 'I guess we both did pretty well in there' 'pretty good' is grammatically incorrect."

Both detectives' expressions change from confused to slightly irritated but before they can give any rebuttal Beckett strolls over with an amused look on her face. "Come on Castle, you want to go for a drink with us you've got to leave the grammar snob at the-"

There's a silence as she seems to catch sight of something behind them. "-door."

Castle has seen her face take on many expressions over the years: happiness, sadness, empathy, smugness, jealousy (though she would never admit it), sentimental, worry and of course that pissed off glare, directed many a time towards suspects but more often at him. But this is a new one; she's gone pale, really pale. It's like she's seen a ghost or something. Shock could be partly how to describe it, but he had seen her shocked before, this was much more intense, it worries him and is enough for him and the boys to turn around ready to encounter the cause of such a look.

Standing only a few feet away is a man; he looks a little older than Castle but really not by much, he's tall, freshly shaven face and it would appear hair, a suit that is a little bit too large for him as if he's still growing into it. He's holding a small briefcase but by the effort it seems to be taking to hold it Castle can tell for a small case it holds something quite heavy, something of importance. The hand holding the briefcase: knuckles coated with many small scars, but they look old, almost beginning to vanish from the skin, only a faint reminder of…his past? Castle knows it's probably just the writer in him assuming, when he was younger his mother would scold him when he did a similar analyse of her new 'friends', though he was usually right.

"Katie." The man speaks his voice rough with, Castle's guess, emotion. His eyes stare deeply into hers and Castle suddenly realises that they have this whole time, and she's looking right back into them. But as the stranger takes a small hesitant step forward Beckett seems to awaken somewhat, she blinks a few times before turning straight on the spot and rushing towards the stairs, her head low and her shoulders sagging.

Castle thinks he's never seen her like this. No matter what has happened she has always walked off with her back straight and head high. So when the man goes to follow her he feels obliged to step in his way, blocking any exit. And apparently the boys have a similar idea as they both join him.

"I need to talk to her." He says, eyes pleading with them to let him through.

But there's something Castle wants to know before he lets this man anywhere near Kate. "Who are you?"

Nothing could prepare Castle for what came next.

"I'm her brother."


	2. Chapter 2

What is he doing here? Why now? Does he want something? What does he want? What was he wearing? A suit, since when does he wear a suit? I don't think I've ever seen him wear a suit, and a briefcase! Why would he have a briefcase? And his hair, what happened to the sweep fringe that covered most of his face? Seriously, what is he doing here?

These were the types of questions that kept running through her mind as she practically ran through the busy streets of New York City, occasionally bumping into other pedestrians not even noticing the looks of disdain and annoyance being thrown at her. Her place was quite far, she shouldn't have walked, especially in winter where even her coat could not keep out the viscous cold. But she didn't think, she just had to go. Going to the garage and getting her car would have taken too long; she would still be close to him. She hopes he doesn't have her address. He wouldn't would he? Maybe going home isn't the best option.

The entrance to Central Park. Perfect. She can just go in and sit on a bench or something, have some breathing space, be able to really think, separate all the jumbled thoughts running through her mind. The first bench she comes to overlooks a playground, she recognises it…

"Come on Andrew! I want to go on the swings!" A small Katherine Beckett runs past, hair in pigtails wearing jean shorts and a bright yellow, covered in butterflies, shirt.

"Wait Kate! Mom will kill me if I lose you." A boy, barely a teenager, yells running after the bubble of energy.

"Push me! Push me!" she squeals sitting on a vacant swing. "Pwease" She knows she's got him there, Andrew may put on a show that having a little sister is a complete chore and all she is, is a big annoyance, but when it comes to that face and that sweet voice he could never say no.

"Fiiiine." He still heaves a sigh but she sees straight through it and gives him a sweet smile as he begins to push the swing higher and higher eliciting excited giggles from the girl. His phone chimes "Be back in a sec Katie."

He walks away with the phone, a slight smile on his face as Kate shouts innocently "Okay!".

He answers the phone and Kate enjoys the sensation of the swing until she feels it start to slow, looking over at her brother she sees he is still on the phone. Frustrated, she sees a boy quite older than her, not as old as Andrew but still substantially older than herself.

"Excuse me." She says in the most polite voice her mother taught her. The boy turns to stare at her in a not so welcoming manner. But Kate is immune to the bitter glare as she continues "My brother's on the phone, would you mind pushing me for a second?" she finishes with her trademark smile that her father says would melt a whole snowman in seconds, which Kate immediately announced as impossible, silly and snowman murder.

That had made her mother laugh.

"Sure" says the boy with a twisted smile walking behind her but instead of lightly pushing the swing, shoving her straight off of it. The movement comes as a shock only worsening the fall as she hits the hard ground head first then moves along the tarmac scraping the surface of most of her skin. She is grazed all over, her head throbbing, her knee has busted open and blood oozes out.

Even when young, Kate Beckett had prided herself on being as tough as nails but even she has to admit, that hurt, so much so that all thought of keeping her dignity and holding back her tears goes out the window. All young Katie can do is cry, sitting there sobbing, screaming for her mother.

But then suddenly from out of nowhere came a loud girlish cry that echoed higher and louder than she thought possible. She looks behind her to see the boy that had shoved her over cowering on the floor with a bloody nose squealing "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" over and over at another boy towering over him.

"Andrew!" she must catch his attention as he immediately runs over scoops her up in his arms declaring that he'll never leave her alone in the park again, anywhere ever again, never let anyone hurt her again, he'll take her home then when their mom has patched her up take her for ice-cream, any flavour she wants with sprinkles, chocolate sauce, whip cream, anything on top, his treat. Then he carries her all the way home, though she's getting a bit too old to be carried that far a distance, whispering soothing words in her ear until her sobbing and sniffling subsides and she offers him a watery smile, she knows she'll always be okay, because her big brother's always going to be there to protect her.

Present day Kate swipes angrily at the tears that have somehow escaped. Maybe Central Park was a bad idea; it's just made her mind more clouded that before.

Because Andrew had been there for her. Like with her first ever boyfriend, the one that decided he actually wanted her bestfriend, kissed her then broke up with Kate saying she was nothing, ment nothing, wasn't worth anything especially anyone's love. Present day Kate wouldn't have taken any of that crap, but young, still quite naïve Katie Beckett who had thought she had felt love for the first time was heartbroken, locked herself in her room for days, until Andrew came into her room and asked her what was wrong, after explaining the whole situation Andrew wrapped his arms around her and told her she was the most special, beautiful girl he knew and that if 'that pig' thought she deserved nothing, let alone his love, he didn't really know her because if he did he would have never let her out of his sight let alone broken up with her. The next day he had marched into the school and publically humiliated the pig and her ex-bestfriend, then gotten himself chased out of the school by security, one of the funniest sights that the school had ever seen and since then he had been her hero. He got a Harley, a few years later, Kate did. He rebelled and went into a bit of a rocker stage, so did Kate until their parents sat Andrew down and then he sat Kate down and told her it wasn't cool to test their parents like that and he should have never done it in the first place and she shouldn't have followed him in doing so too. She then abruptly broke up with the grunge rocker, tossed out the black makeup and stopped slamming the door every time she came in because he told her to and he was her amazing older brother.

Those were the good days she thought. When they were a perfect family, well not perfect, they had their normal fights and disputes from how long someone took in the bathroom to the proper screaming matches, but they always found their way back to each other, okay, sometimes with a bit of intervention from mom and dad. If only they could turn back time, if only mom hadn't died things would be so much different.

Her phone chimes, Castle. Right she was supposed to go to the Old Haunt, the guys are probably worried. She could use a drink; something strong to make the pain numb. She stands up and makes her way out of the park, looking back one more time seeing her younger self once again, feeding some ducks, holding tightly onto her older brother's hand before she quickly turns and walks out of the park. The good times ended a while ago, no point dwelling on that aspect of the past.

She really needs a drink.

Luckily she runs straight into an empty cab and gives the driver the address. Looking out of the window she's glad that her mind is returning back to reality as her eyes skim the harsh streets of New York. Don't get it wrong. Sure she loves New York and she can't imagine being anywhere else for the rest of her life, but being a homicide detective, seeing what ordinary people are capable of doing to each other, it's hard to gaze out at the city and not look behind the couples holding hands and the Christmas lights to the tramp who last year had a big home, wonderful wife, three beautiful kids and the respect of many of New York's biggest hot shots until he lost it all. Now people don't even look at him, let alone up at him. His family? Gone. All because he got too cocky at the poker table, racked up debts he couldn't pay and let everyone around him down. It's his own fault; he brought it all on himself and his family, they're suffering because of what he did, so maybe he deserves it? Then again who is she to decide?

She doesn't realise she's arrived until the driver is practically shouting at her, she quickly pays the man, probably way too much, but she doesn't have time to care as she rushes towards the bar relieved to have found somewhere she feels safe and welcome with absolutely no relation to her brother. Except when she enters the bar her relief is short-lived as sitting in their usual corner table are Ryan, Esposito, Castle and beside him, Andrew.

She wants to run, to get away but she stops herself. No! This is her place, these are her friends, that is her… partner? She doesn't really know what he is, but he's hers, not his, Andrew doesn't get to come and do this. Not now, not ever. No more hiding she tells herself as she marches up to the table gaining the attention of all four men.

"What are you doing here Andrew?"

_**So what do you think? Worth continuing? I'm not quite sure where I'm going with it, just going with the flow I guess. At some point I do want to do some more Rick and Kate stuff- the story is supposed to bring them closer together and I may even do some more adult stuff, maybe some M even, though I've never written any before so I can't say whether it would be any good or not. I'm open to anything so if you have any thoughts at all just review, and thanks for reading, hope to upload soon **_


	3. Chapter 3

Her brother? Kate doesn't have a brother? He would know if she had a brother, wouldn't he? He knows she's very secretive, likes to keep her cards close to her chest, but this? They would joke that she's like an onion, so many layers, but he thought they'd peeled back the immediate family layer years ago.

By the look on the boy's faces they didn't know about this 'brother' either.

No. If the boys didn't know and she hadn't told him, it isn't true, can't be.

"Kate doesn't have a brother." He tries to keep his voice as level and emotionless as possible. It's a trick he's learnt from Kate over the years; raising her voice and getting angry could be scary but when she was truly frightening she was quiet, didn't give away anything, got the suspects so nervous that they'd flinch when she leant slightly forward in her seat.

He's lying. She does not have a brother.

The fraud then sighs. He knew it, the guy knows we don't believe him and he's giving up. He knew Kate wouldn't keep something so big a secret, not from him. He knew he was lying…

Andrew Beckett. That's what the driver's license says; the one he pulled out of his pocket and practically shoved into Rick's face. He looks to Ryan and Esposito but they're already at their desks checking this guy out and sure enough: Andrew Beckett, brother of Katherine Beckett.

"Now do you believe me?" grumbles the now slightly exasperated looking man before letting out another, this time longer, sigh and practically collapsing against a desk. "I shouldn't have done this, coming here like this, it was wrong, I should've known."

Through all Rick's confusion and worry for Kate he has to take pity on the guy. He looks exhausted, and his disappointment at himself and the situation is extremely evident. So when he asks Rick "Do you know where she'd go? Do you know her address? Anywhere I could find her?" he can't stop himself wanting to help him out.

"If I know Kate…" which at the moment he isn't completely sure of. Why didn't she tell him? A tap to his arm and the hopeful look on Andrew's face brings him back to the present. He clears his throat once before continuing, just incase, "I mean if I know Kate she wouldn't have gone home, she would've known that you may ask us or already have her address so if she really didn't want to see you she probably wouldn't be going there."

He watches regretfully as the hope drains from Andrews face replaced once again with a look of frustration mixed with failure, wanting to add on a little 'I could be wrong' but also pretty sure he's not and getting the poor man's hopes up to have them crushed again would just be cruel. So he does the only thing he can think of.

"You want to come for a drink? We were just heading out to my bar and you never know Kate may turn up?"

The man looks like he needs a drink and right now he has to admit he could do with one himself.

Andrew still looks hesitant "I wouldn't want to intrude."

Rick is quick to reassure him that he wouldn't be "right boys?" he asks looking over at the men that have remained silent up until this point. They both nod their consent and offer matching tentative smiles obviously still uncertain of the stranger. Andrew's mood seems to brighten a little bit instantly.

They travel to the bar in Esposito's car; they sit practically in silence apart from brief small talk about the cold weather and a familiar song that comes on the radio. He can see that Andrew wants to ask them something but is holding back unsure to ask or waiting for the right moment.

But when they have sat down at their usual table, drinks in hand, he seems to pluck up the courage to ask. "So…" he begins, gaining the attention of the three men, "how is Katie?" For such a simple, day to day question he says it as if it were some kind of confession. "We haven't seen each other in a while so I guess I'm asking… what's she like? All grown up?"

Then Rick has an idea. A way to brighten the mood and remove the awkwardness whilst learning a bit more about his favourite detective (strictly for research purposes of course).

"How about we tell you something about her now and you tell us something that we probably won't know, funny childhood anecdote, most embarrassing story you can think of?"

At first Andrew looks unsure but the encouraging look from, not only Rick, but Ryan and Esposito also, must make up his mind.

"Okay."

Ryan, Esposito and Rick look at each other silently discussing who would say what. Esposito seems to take the lead.

"She's driven, relentless, won't give up until she's got the criminal behind bars and the family of the deceased the justice they deserve, yet still totally by the book, well most of the time."

Ryan jumps in "She's always got our backs and would probably take a bullet for any one of us, and we'd take one right back for her. She has a great deal of empathy and insists she's always the one to talk to the victim's families, be the one who breaks it to them. Man, over surveillance or traffic, that job's every cop's worst nightmare."

Rick finishes the only way he knows how to. "She's extraordinary."

Andrew's smiling for the first time since they met him and he looks more relaxed too, though there's still a slight sadness behind his eyes, like longing.

"We kept to our side of the deal now spill it." Rick announces getting a bit more comfortable in his seat.

"I don't know if I should start with something embarrassing, I'm not really in her good books at the moment, no need to fan the flames." The boys look slightly dejected by this but let him carry on. "Well you said Kate was by the book…most of the time?" His questioning look makes the three co-workers laugh as they all recall times Kate had to bend the rules a little.

"I guess she was kind of like that when she was little." The men seem to give Andrew a 'go on' expression. "Well when she was… seven I think, we were at a local sweet shop when Kate noticed a bag of skittles, her favourite snack, had burst open. There were skittles everywhere. She sat there for all of ten minutes before she took one of them. That night she comes running in my room in tears saying she'd done a bad thing, a really bad thing. I was so worried at first until she told me. I told her it was fine, it was only one skittle and the owner was probably about to throw the ruined packet away but of course Kate wouldn't accept that and begged me to take her to the store the next day. So I did as she had asked, but when we get there I see her pull out the money for two whole packets of skittles; put it on the counter before bursting out the shop dragging me along with her. I told her it was silly. She had taken one skittle that would probably have been thrown away and given money for two whole packets of them. She simply insisted it was the proper thing to do and whether it was a single skittle or a million packets of skittles it was still stealing. Next time I'm there the owner comes up to me and gives me the money she had left on the counter. He says he'd known all along that Katie had taken the skittle, he had watched her do it himself but thought he'd let it go since she was only young and it was so insignificant, but he had been so awed by her coming back and paying way over the cost of one skittle and I should be proud to have such an honest sister of real morals. And since then the guy kept a jar of skittles beside him and every time we came into the shop he'd give Katie a single skittle, passed it off as a special offer so she wouldn't reject them. If she had found out she was being treated differently to everyone else she would have never taken them. She was a strong believer in everyone deserves equal rights, treatment and apparently skittles." He chuckles at that part and the boys can't help but join in.

"Kate Beckett: 'goody two shoes'. Who would have thought?" Rick chuckles while taking a sip of his drink.

"Oh she was definitely not a good girl you should have seen her in her teens, bad cannot describe the kind of stuff she got involved in." Rick chokes on his drink, making a mess of his suit and the table. The other men burst into laughter whilst Rick tries to salvage his dignity and get images of what kind of 'bad stuff' he is imagining Kate Beckett had gotten involved in out of his mind. When the laughter dies down Andrew speaks up again.

"I can tell you're quite protective of her. The way you wouldn't let me through earlier. You're kind of like older brothers." He tries to smile at them again but Rick can see it, back again, the sadness in his eyes, the regret. But then Andrew shocks them all when he adds "I'm glad." Their expressions must show their surprise as he elaborates "knowing she has people like you looking out for her. We all grow up looking at the world like a fairytale; surrounded by love and nurturing, the evils of the world hidden away for our own 'protection', our parents tell us to not talk to strangers or wander off anywhere but we never really understand why. Because life's not a fairytale, we all know it's a big bad world out there especially for a cop. I always worried for her, Katie may put up a hard exterior and yeah she's strong and smart but she's not invincible and well… she'll always be my little sister, you know?"

The men nod in understanding.

"So thank you guys." He lifts his drink and gives them another smile, but this time without a hint of misery in his eyes, only pure gratitude. The men join him, lifting their drinks, smiling back at him, saying things like 'no big deal' and 'we wouldn't have it any other way' without really having to say anything at all as they settle into a comfortable silence.

The hustle and bustle of the bar and the melodious music coming from the piano surrounds them. Rick stares at his drink, his mind not really focused on one thing in particular just a collection of ideas and feelings that he doesn't think he has the energy to dive into tonight. Fortunately his thoughts are interrupted by a familiar sound.

A clicking of heels. High, foreign heels. Quick but purposeful steps. He'd know that sound anywhere. And sure enough, looking up he sees the one and only Kate Beckett striding towards him, not looking too happy, but not looking at him.

Poor, unfortunate man.

"What are you doing here Andrew?"

_**Thanks to the all of the wonderful reviewers especially YankeePeg, whom gave me some really good ideas, I was thinking about going down a route where Andrew is a good guy that maybe got stuck down the rabbit hole but I didn't even think about a child aspect and now you suggested it it's really interested me. So I'm still not 100% sure where I'm going but your ideas have really helped me along. Thank you very much and I hope you all liked this chapter, writing it I wasn't really sure about a great majority of it.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Andrew stares at her, mouth open as if about to say something but nothing seems to be coming out. She raises an interrogative eyebrow, but still he says nothing.

All of a sudden Castle is speaking. "We were just having a drink, getting acquainted with your…brother?"

"He's no brother of mine." Kate quickly retorts giving Andrew her steeliest expression "Not anymore." The last part comes out less fearsome as hoped as her breath hitches revealing a small amount of her frustration and distress.

Maybe she's not strong enough for this.

So he's having a drink with Castle and the boys, so what? No big deal. He'll be moving on again tomorrow and they can forget all about this little episode. She's way too tired to deal with this now anyway.

Having lost the momentum she had walked up to the table with she simply turns around and starts her slow journey back towards the entrance of the bar, fresh air would do her some good.

However when she gets outside it's raining, hard. How could it have started raining so quickly? She's sure it wasn't raining when she'd first arrived. Doesn't look like she'll be able to get a cab in this weather so she hugs her arms around herself trying to maintain enough warmth as possible and heads quickly for a nearby alleyway, failing to hear the muffled "Wait Kate!" from behind her, so is shocked when Andrew grabs her arm, going into full on cop mode and almost breaking his arm like a twig.

"Andrew!" She shouts tugging on his arm one more time before finally releasing him.

"Wow, you've gotten strong Katie." He shakes his arm out trying to make it look as casual as possible and failing miserably.

"What do you want Andrew?" She might as well get to the point, like ripping off a band aid; quick and easy. Then she can go home, sink into a warm bath with a glass of wine (somewhat larger than usual) and one of Castle's books, one of the Nikki Heats. His words, especially written about her; how extraordinary she is to him, how much she inspires him etc., always make her feel better, special even. Though she'd never admit this to him, his ego is already big enough and she will not be held responsible for adding more to it.

"You. You and me. Back like it was. Well I know we could never get back to before. But something. Anything; a letter, the occasional phone call or we could grab a coffee or dinner and just…talk. You and me. Just like we used to. We could tell each other anything remember?" He looks at her so hopefully but is only met with another threatening stare "Or we don't have to talk. We can just sit and eat. You and me. Anywhere you want to go, anything you want to do. Please Katie just give me a chance." He doesn't care that he's practically begging, he'll do anything, say anything if she'll give him a shot.

Kate only hugs herself tighter looking at anything but his eyes. "It's not that simple…" but before she can finish Andrew has already started talking again, he always did that when they were younger; interrupting people mid sentence. Their mother would scold him for acting in such a rude manner.

"It can be that simple, we can make it simple! I know it's been so long and I've missed so much, but it's me Kate! You're big brother Andy! We can work something out!"

He keeps talking. He just won't shut up. Every word that comes desperately spewing out of his mouth, every suggestion, every attempt. It makes her sick. How dare he? Come back here after all this time. No letters, not even a Christmas card. And he just expects her to come to dinner with him and 'work something out'. There's nothing to work out! He pummelled and destroyed every last piece of their relationship that there's nothing left to work with. She wants to scream at him, tell him how much it hurt her when he left, tossing the family aside and not looking back once for almost fifteen years. But she knows if she even raises her voice slightly she'll break and she doesn't want him seeing her like that. Weak. He doesn't get to see what he's done to her, to their family, if that's even what you could call them now.

So she tries to keep her voice even and get him off her back forever quickly. "You left…" She's quite proud that her voice does come out rather strong only coated with her immense bitterness towards him. She takes a deep breath about to continue when Andrew tries to interrupt again and she can't stop herself this time. No amount of deep breathing or counting to ten can stop her now.

"_No!_" her voice is deafening, filled with aggression like Andrew has never seen from her before, from anyone really. It's enough to make him stumble backwards, stunned for a moment. "You left and _everything _fell apart! Mom was _dead!_ The police were doing _nothing!_ I had to drop out of college because they were threatening to take the house! _Dad! _Don't get me started on Dad…

A 22 year old Kate Beckett enters a bar.

"Where is he Hank?" The bartender gives her a sympathetic smile, the kind she hates but has learned to just accept lately, then he points down the far side of the bar towards the shadow of a man she used to know.

"Katie!" he yells then turns to the man next to him whom by the look on his face has had quite enough of him for one night "That's my girl! The one I was telling you about! Beautiful isn't she just like her mother!"

Kate sighs, it's been like this for months, spending the day working in whatever bar, club, diner or shop would take her on in order to pay the bills then cleaning up the house that she had once called her home. Formerly filled with constant commotion, the good kind: laughter, embarrassing stories, the rush to get to the bathroom first and above all, love. But now riddled with bottles and cans, broken appliances and smashed photo frames containing pictures of her mother.

After she was done there it was off out again to find her father. It wasn't that hard. It had been at first as he'd move from bar to bar so quickly with no apparent routine just wandering into one then when he got kicked out, wandering around for a while until he stumbled across another. But now he just went to Hank's bar. They'd known Hank for years; he played the occasional game of poker with Dad and had even taught her a few tricks. She'd once asked him why he didn't stop him, kick him out or something. She was grateful that she knew how to find her father much quicker but had thought as his friend he would try to put a stop to this chaos. He'd just said that at least here he was with friends, people who would make sure he didn't get into too much trouble, people that would keep him safe. She'd argued that what he was doing was far from safe. But he had been adamant that if he kicked her father out, he would just go to another bar full of strangers and probably do something stupid and end up in jail or worse.

"Come on Dad, time to go home." She says tiredly grabbing onto his arm and pulling him up off the bar stool.

"But _Katie_" he whines like a small child "I'm talking to my new friends! I just met them today." This is the first stage he goes through, the friendly stage. "Great bunch of men. Really _really_ _great_ bunch of men. Their names are…what's your names again?" At this point he is shouting across the bar as Kate has just continued dragging him towards the exit waving off Hank's regular offers of assistance.

When she finally gets him in the car and starts the short drive home (technically she could have walked but didn't trust her father in this state walking around near roads) he's gotten into his childlike stage; his innocent confusion as he mutters different names still trying to recall his 'new friends' then he is yawning but fighting sleep like a child that wants to stay up past their bedtime, not wanting to fall asleep just yet. It continues as she gets him out of the car and through the front door.

"Time for bed." She tries to sound as firm as she can.

"But I don't wanna go to bed Katie!" She's not put off by his whining and just keeps trying to coerce him up the stairs into his bed.

"Come on Dad, you can have a long sleep and everything will feel better in the morning." She knows it's a lie, that things never really feel any better, the only reason she isn't sitting on the couch with a bottle of scotch or some kind of strong whiskey right now is because she has to be strong, for her Dad. If they both crumble now, eventually there'll be nothing left of either of them.

But her father seems to have come to the final stage of his drunkenness, anger.

"You're my daughter and you'll do as I say!" His voice echoes around the empty house as he violently yanks his arm out of Kate's grasp. He looks over at the photo Kate had salvaged from a broken frame. It's one of their family: him, Andrew, Kate and a very happy looking Johanna Beckett.

"She's gone. Left me. Went ahead and got herself killed over one of her 'fighting for justice and the truth' cases! And Andrew! He's gone too! All I've been left with is you! And you know what? It would be so much easier if you had died, not her!"

"Dad you don't mean that." She says quietly backing away from him knowing how he can get when he's like this.

"Don't' tell me what I do and don't mean!" He picks up the closest thing to him which happens to be a vase and hurls it at her. She jumps, the vase only narrowly missing her, instead smashing against the wall then collapsing into tiny pieces on the floor. She runs up the stairs and locks herself in her room before collapsing on her bed sobbing into her pillow as the crashing sounds continue downstairs.

She knows it's just the grief coupled with the alcohol that's making her father say such things, do such things, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. And maybe he's right. Her mom was strong, knew how to handle her father, she would at least know what to if it had been Kate who been murdered instead.

She's signed up for the police academy; she's going to find her mother's killer no matter what or how long it takes. 'Random gang-violence' didn't cut it for her. She hasn't told him yet and the dates getting closer. The one where she has to leave him and focus on finding her mother's killer, she's dreading it. Leaving him alone he could do anything to himself. She'll have to ask Hank and some of their other friends in the neighbourhood to keep an eye on him, because if anything happens to him she won't be able to forgive herself. But if she's really being honest she's kind of looking forward to it, relieved in a way, she doesn't know how much longer she can last here, doing this, it's taking away all the strength she has left in her. The crashing downstairs has stopped which means he's probably passed out on the sofa. She'll try to get some sleep, she needs to get up early for work tomorrow and start the whole cycle again.

Her last thought before she drifts off into a restless sleep. 'I wish Andrew was here.'

Andrew's looking at her in such a heartbroken shock. She wasn't supposed to tell him all that. He wasn't supposed to think she had needed him, that she hadn't coped. Why did she have to tell him?

"Kate…" his voice is so raw with emotion "if I… if I had know-"

"_You __what!_" She cuts in. "_What __would __you __have __done __Andrew?__" _She feels new, warmer water sliding down her face opposed to the cold rain that they are now drenched in and realises she's crying. Tears are streaming down her face and no matter how many times she furiously wipes at her eyes they won't cease coming.

"And don't even pretend you didn't get my message." He looks down ashamedly.

"_Look __at __me __you __coward!_" His eyes shoot up to meet hers instantly. "I asked you. No I _begged _you to come home. I told you that I didn't know what to do, that I was so lost. That everything was a mess. I _screamed_ down that phone, _pleading_ with you to come back and help me."

By now her whole body is shaking and it has nothing to do with the bitter cold water all over her, the pure fury she feels towards him is stronger than she has ever felt towards any suspect, even the most sadistic of murderers. "_You __promised __me!__"_ She cries because that's all she has the energy left to do. "You said you'd _always_ protect me."

She's not used to this, never shows this much emotion. It's too much. She's got to go, got to leave, go far far away from here, from Andrew. And the next thing she knows she's outside her apartment, apparently having ran all the way home. She fumbles with her keys trying to open the door as quickly as possible before slamming it behind her and sinking to the floor sobbing violently.

_**So what do you think? A bit more intense and a bit longer. I apologise if anyone thinks I got Kate's emotions wrong in this as she's never acted upset on this kind of level like with the whole 'protect me' thing but I thought since it's her brother and looking over a horrible time for her it needed this kind of emotion and also reminded me of the emotion in that whole 'everyone's gone' scene in the season 4 premiere. I also apologise if there are any grammar, spelling, tenses etc. mistakes, I didn't have as much time as usual to check it so if I missed something then like I said sorry! Let me know what you think and thanks for reading. **_


	5. Chapter 5

She's late. She's never late and by never I mean _never_. He's here before her! That's happened rarely before; when he was either avoiding Paula or avoiding Gina. He wonders if her uncharacteristic disregard for punctuality has anything to do with yesterday's evens. What is he saying? Of course it has something to do with it, how could it not?

After Kate had rushed out of the bar he had been tempted to follow. Although they are in no kind of relationship he constantly feels a strong need to protect her from everything. He knows if he ever told her this she would probably shoot him, she's an independent woman who carries a gun and all logic points to her being able to protect herself far better than he ever could yet when a situation arises, so does this gut feeling. This almost uncontrollable, overpowering sense of duty that just takes over and ends up with him staring down the barrel of one or two quite intimidating guns. Because losing her is not an option.

So when she ran out and Andrew had made to follow her was already out of his seat one hand on his coat. This Andrew may seem like a nice guy but for Kate to act so coldly towards someone, especially family, Andrew must have done something bad, something that really hurt her and no one's allowed to hurt her. But then he had seen the look in his eyes, so desperate and scared, scared of losing his little sister forever and he'd made a snap decision that he'd give this man one chance with Kate but if he brought her any pain he will destroy him. So he simply gave him a look that he hoped conveyed all of this then nodded giving the man silent consent to chase after her. A flustered looking Andrew had thanked the boys for inviting him before rushing out of the bar. Then Castle had sunk back down in his chair sharing a quick look with the boys before announcing:

"Another drink?" He could sure use one.

But now she's late, like she never is, and he's worried. Maybe letting Andrew go after her was the wrong decision; he should have stopped him straight away, kept him as far away as possible from Kate, way past hurting distance. _Damn it!_ Why is she late?

Wait a minute. He thinks he hears a… faint clicking of… yes it is! Most definitely! The noise gets louder and louder and there she is. He looks her up and down a few times checking for any physical harm she may have been victim to. After a few glances he decides there isn't, well none accept her eyes. They're a strange colour of dilute pink-red like she's been crying a lot then slept on it but by the looks of the giant bags under her eyes, not for long. He hasn't seen bags so big since they had worked her mother's case/her shooting. She's put on more make up than usual to cover it up but after having a mother in the performing arts business, who tragically would regularly practise different makeup techniques for every part she would go up for on him, he knows a thing or two about makeup. It hurts him to know she was probably up most of the night weeping at the hands of someone who is supposed to chase away all of the people that bring any pain to her, transform ex-boyfriends into quivering messes for making their baby sister shed a single tear. But she's in one piece; she has her head high and looks like, although her steps falter now and then, she means business.

"Hey, coffee?" Somehow the liquid has remained hot during this eternal wait and he's happy he can use it to say something to her.

"Thanks." That's all she says giving him a tentative smile that looks a little forced but he can see the sincerity in her eyes so he gives her a trademark Castle smile in response.

She's seated by now, bag away, coat on back of chair and she's just reaching for her paperwork when the words seem to just come out without any warning.

"About yesterday…" Whoa Rick. No. We don't want to do that, we know how sensitive and private she is normally let alone in this clearly extremely personal situation! We really don't want to do this! What do you think you're doing?

These thoughts keep racing through his mind as he waits for her to get mad or upset or just go ahead and shoot him but she doesn't look like she's going to do any of those things, just a bit surprised and in fact maybe a little bit…guilty?

"Look I'm sorry I didn't tell you, it would have come up at some point, I'm sure of it, it wasn't supposed to be some kind of secret. We're partners and that means I know I can't trust you, please don't think I was keeping this from you."

Wow. Did that just happen? Did Kate Beckett, I repeat, the one and only, yet extraordinary, guarded and reserved Kate Beckett talk about something quite personal completely openly and honestly without really being pushed, just sitting at her desk, no tiger, bomb, freezer, or anything? And did she sound nervous? Worried? Afraid? Afraid he would be mad that she had kept such a thing a secret, that he would doubt their partnership, have doubt in her? But he would never do that. Sure, he wished he had known but her reaction seemed evidence enough that there was a valid reason for keeping it a secret.

"No, I understand. I mean it's obviously a sensitive subject that you don't like to talk about. I can see how you could just never mention it." Then he smiles as reassuringly as he can trying to translate that it really is okay, that they're good. At first she looks a bit hesitant but ultimately smiles back offering a brief nod before returning to the world of paperwork, a place he is very glad he can say he is not a regular visitor of.

The morning progresses as normal from then on, her filling out paperwork whilst he alternates between Angry Birds and Tunnel Run but failing miserably as he is constantly glancing up at her then looking away before she realises. This is relatively normal except when he usually watches her it's out of fascination and want, not worry. He's still not one hundred percent convinced by her seemingly calm and unaffected exterior. For example, she keeps pausing from time to time as if in deep thought then rereads paragraphs within most of the reports over and over as if she wasn't really paying attention the first couple of times.

She's tense, extremely so. Her shoulders, normally dead straight exuding her intense confidence even just sitting at a desk, are slightly hunched over. Most people wouldn't even take notice of such a small change, but he does, of course he does, he notices everything about her. He has watched her for so long and so intently how could he not. He's loves that he has an ability (which he is quite proud of) to read her so well, at least most of the time, yet still has so much to learn about her. He thinks he'll never get bored of peeling back those layers one by one.

Suddenly she lets out a long sigh putting down her pen slowly in a way Castle has come to know she does when she's becoming frustrated but is still trying to remain calm.

"Castle?" Her eyebrow arches in that dangerous and terrifying yet incredibly sexy way.

"Ye-Yeah…" He answers hesitantly worried of what's to come.

"Something up? You keep staring at me, like even more than usual."

"Um…" he needs to come up with an answer soon or she'll pounce on him just like her suspects when they are the least bit hesitant during interrogation.

She sighs again, raking her hands though her long luscious hair.

"This is about yesterday isn't it?" She looks straight into his eyes and down to his soul and he knows he won't be able to tell her anything but the honest truth, but he can't tell her that so he clamps his mouth shut hoping it will actually stay shut for once and looks anywhere but her eyes.

She lets out another, this time shorter, sigh.

"Look, I've nearly finished here, how about we head to Remys?"

She wants to go to dinner? To talk? Kate Beckett, for the second time today, seems to be openly talking to him about an obviously extremely personal matter.

"Castle?" He's been staring at her for ages, hasn't he? He's got to say something now before he looks even more stupid.

"Yeah, yeah." He clears his throat trying to remove the rough quality "Of course."

"Good, okay." She smiles looking down at the yet to be completed form appearing a bit startled at her own actions before she relaxes back into the slowly decreasing, more mountain than pile of paperwork.

Now they're sitting in their usual booth. When she had finished her paperwork she had simply stood up and started gathering her things. He took this as a sign that it was time to go and put on his coat before holding out and helping her into hers, receiving a quick smile as thanks. They travelled in the elevator, out of the precinct and across to Remys in silence, not uncomfortable but not quite comfortable, their minds full of their own thoughts, his with so many questions to ask her but battling them off knowing he has to wait to ask when she's ready and open enough, _ if _she's ready or open enough. But now they're sitting here both staring at their fidgeting hands as they've already ordered their usual and no longer have distractions to fill the silence. It seems she's had enough as she takes a long calming breath before jumping straight into it.

"So Andrew's my brother, but I guess you know that by now. He was born 4th February 1972, 5 years before I was and he was the quite possibly my favourite person in the world. My hero, my protector, my pillar…my older brother." A small smile adorns her face as she is overcome by a flood of memories, the good kind. She takes a moment to just enjoy them before pushing on.

"We were such a happy family, sure Mom and Dad were busy with work a lot but we still did the fun, normal family things; picnics in the park, daily family dinner where we'd talk about our day, day trips to the zoo, museum, to watch a movie, the traditional yearly Beckett family holiday. I didn't realise at the time how good I had it, apart from the occasional teenage drama or heartbreak my life was pretty perfect.

Until…until my mother was murdered and left in that alley. My perfect life in my perfect little bubble just exploded and we all spun out of control. At first it was almost surreal, we just went on with our lives not talking about her being gone, knowing she was gone, and ignoring all the friends and families calling or dropping by offering their condolences.

The police, not surprisingly hardly ever had any developments so we just stayed in our little house pretending it wasn't happening whilst it ate away at us inside. That was until the funeral, then we kind of had to at least acknowledge it, I wish I'd realised just how…distant Andrew was getting if I had maybe….

He disappeared. As soon as the funeral finished, the exact second in fact and he just didn't come back. Then Dad started drinking and I had to age about ten years, I had to be the responsible one. Get a job, stop them from taking the house, drag dad out of countless bars every night and receive drunken abuse about how I'd drove them away and it be better if I had…" Her voice breaks so she quickly clears it wanting to get this all out in one quick pull of the band aid.

"I was twenty one and all of a sudden it felt like the weight of the world was resting on my shoulders. Whilst all my friends were out partying I was doing whatever odd job I could to keep my family going, pick up the messes that Dad made of himself, stop him hurting someone else or getting into a stupid situation with some thugs in a bar, stop him from hurting himself anymore than this bottomless pit of depression already was. I used to have these nightmares that one night I'd come out and find him passed out as usual but this time surrounded by pills and not breathing. It was horrible, but do you know what's more horrible? I may have been terrified, distraught but a small part of me was relieved that he was finally at peace with her or something and I wasn't waiting around every second anymore for that call to come saying they had tried all they could but he hadn't made it. How could a daughter think that about their own father?

I'd call Andrew, begging with him, pleading for him to come home and help me. I threw all self pride out the window and sobbed down that phone line and I knew he got the messages. He'd pick up for some of his friends I talked to so I knew he hadn't lost or broken his phone. Our family was falling apart and he stayed away for more than a third of my life, just left us then walks into the precinct, the place where I work to try and find our mother's killer, in that suit with that briefcase asking for things to go back to how they were before! How could he even think that was possible?

Before…we could talk to each other about anything he wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend, of course I don't need anyone to do so but…he protected me, from anyone and anything that posed the smallest threat to me, he said he'd always be there for me. He promised and then he just up and leaves me only to come back all these years later, no postcard, no letter not even a single Christmas card, expecting everything to be okay! How could he think we could just do that? Dad didn't just grieve the loss of his wife but his son; I'm scared how he'll react if Andrew approaches him.

It just, it hurt okay, that the one person I could always rely on, trust with everything just disappeared when life got tough and waits this long! I wont, I can't, ever forgive him and after this he shouldn't expect me to."

During the whole speech she's been playing with the salt and pepper shakers rarely looking up at him but now he finally gets to look in those beautiful eyes of hers and they're full of such sorrow, heartbreak, anger and foremost sadness as she's struggling to keep in the tears that are desperate to escape.

After a while of just staring he clears his throat before trying to think of something to say without putting his foot in it.

"I can't even imagine Kate. What you went through and how it felt and now I know why yours and Andrew's relationship is so torn apart I understand, well I could never understand because I didn't go through what you went through and I understand, well let me think of another word umm… I recognize, no I'm aware that... no. okay I can't think of a word but-" He's babbling and he knows it, it's because he's not used to this extremely open Kate and doesn't know how to react to her.

"I just, I can see how you don't think you can ever forgive him."

His voice though sincere ends a bit too hesitantly like there's something he wants to add but is too afraid of her reaction. Basically…

"I hear a 'but' coming."

"Not really a 'but', just…don't you want to know?"

"Know what?" Her voice is thankfully become calmer by now.

"Where he's been? What he's been doing? Why he hasn't come back until now?"

"He didn't come back because he was being a selfish prick!" And any calmness is gone once again.

"Kate I-"

"Sorry, no sorry. This isn't you're fault and I shouldn't be snapping at you."

"I live with two women detective I'm used to being snapped at when it has nothing to do with me." He's trying to lighten the mood and is rewarded for his efforts with a slight grin that brings a big smile to his face before he schools his expression knowing they're going to need to finish this particular conversation.

"Like I said, I didn't live through all you did and maybe he doesn't deserve forgiveness. But like I said a few weeks, months, years or whatever down the line you may want to know why, when, what, how. You're only human, curiosity is part of our nature and don't you think maybe it would help you? You know to understand and get past him leaving. You said he was such a key figure in your life, when I talked to him I thought he was a pretty nice guy. He told us some story about you and some skittles."

"The one where I go back and pay for like a single one? He always told that one! I don't even understand what's so cute about it!" He's relieved she's acting a bit more cheerful and not mad that he's trying to meddle in her life once again.

"It's adorable." And he's being completely honest, he thinks she's adorable.

"Whatever." She tries to act annoyed but ends up smiling at the complement then trying to hide it behind a menu, but he sees it.

"I just think you should give him a chance Kate, or maybe not even that, just ten minutes. Grab a coffee and put your mind at rest, what's the worst that can happen?"

She stares at him for a while before heaving a sigh.

"Ten minutes?"

"Ten minutes." He nods happy that he's encouraged her into this decision but ultimately she made it herself and this could really help her.

"I don't have his number though or any way to contact him and-"

He halts her excuses by pulling out a card he's extremely glad he took from Andrew and put straight into his wallet.

"Call him." She nods in response. "Then call me. If you need _anything._"

"Okay."

Shortly after this their food arrives and they eat their meal as they normally would talking about anything and everything; their last case, Alexis and his mother, how the books going and when the next release is targeted for if he'd actually sit down and write something anytime soon. There's laughter and the attempted concealing of laughter. This meal really was a good idea.

They get up to leave and she offers to drive him home but he's feeling like a walk today and that she should get right on calling that brother of hers. He turns to leave when she stops him once again, a hand on his shoulder.

"Castle. Thank you." For dinner, for listening, for telling me to call him. He hears it all within the one word and smiles nodding as he has no words to acknowledge such a sincere apology and the look she's giving him also leaves him speechless.

She truly is extraordinary.

_So I am so so so so sorry for the this immense wait but at first I had writers block and every thing I wrote down just sounded terrible, so I apologise if this chapter is not up to some people's standards, then I simply had no time, my life get's so busy I only got to write about a sentence a week if that but I've spread my life out more evenly recently and hope to update much quicker like at least every week if not more frequently. I just opened my email account and saw all of the story alerts etc. and felt horrible for keeping all of you waiting so long so got straight onto it and am now fully committed to updating regularly enough. So I hope you liked the chapter though like I said it doesn't feel like some of my best work. And in the rush to upload I haven't spell or grammar checked so thoroughly so apologies for any mistakes, hope to hear from you all soon!_


	6. Chapter 6

_Of course, I don't own Castle just Andrew and any characters that I bring in along with him!_

She picks up the phone before putting it down for the seventeenth time this afternoon. She isn't going to call him. She isn't! But what Castle had said made sense…maybe she should call him…

No! She is not going to call him.

But she is curious; I mean where has he been? Why has he not come back sooner? All the answers are at the end of a phone line…she picks up the phone.

No! Stop doing this! She throws the phone down onto her bed before collapsing next to it face pressed into the sheets muffling "why me"s and "why now"s.

If there was one thing she hated it was self-pity.

She jumps up off the bed dialling the number and hitting the call button before she has time to reconsider. It's ringing. What was she thinking? She can't do this! Not after so long! She's a completely different person now, as is he. She should just hang up now.

"Hello" Oops. Too late.

"An-Andrew?"

"Kate?" His voice is full of wonder, surprise and tinged with disbelief. She hates that.

"You said we could get coffee." It comes out in a rush as it had to; she had to say it before she could stop herself.

"Really?" Now his voice is even more disbelieving and she's getting sick of it. The cute, sweet nervousness that was so endearing as a child annoys her to no end, reminds her that maybe her Andrew is still in there…somewhere. But that's not what she's calling for, she wants answers and that's all. Just answers.

"Look if you don't want t-"

"No, no. Coffee sounds great, really great. I saw this place right by the precinct yesterday, you know it?"

"Yeah I know it. I'll meet you in half an hour?"

"Kate that might be a bit of a problem."

"Do you want to meet or not? Because if not I can just-"

"No, okay fine, just make it an hour I have to sort something out first."

Kate ponders this, what could he be 'sorting out'? She hates to think, he's been gone for years and he could be up to all sorts. But what did she care? She was here for answers and that's all.

"Fine. See you then."

Before she hangs up she hears a quiet "Thank you Kate."

She's glad he'd chosen the coffee shop near the precinct. Her and Castle sometimes grab a coffee there on their way out of the precinct, it's familiar and she needs that right now. Somewhere she feels safe and grounded to meet the man who had abandoned their family in their time of need.

When she arrives she finds him fidgeting in his seat, hands playing with his coffee as he moves it around the table and picks at the cup lid. He's nervous. He could never hide his nerves when he was a child; he'd once been given one line to say in a nativity play and was shaking and stuttering through the whole thing. Maybe he really hasn't changed all that much…

No. There will be none of those kinds of thoughts tonight. She wants answers and that is all.

She waits a minute longer before entering the shop and sitting opposite him at the small table. It's what she'd do with any other suspect, let them stew for a little while longer and just watch the anxiety grow until they're practically spewing the truth out.

"Kate, you came." Still the tone of childlike surprise and delight, he really needs to stop doing that.

"Yeah well, I called didn't I?" It's blunt and rude but she's not too concerned with keeping her manners at the moment as she sips the coffee he'd already ordered for her.

"Yeah, thank you for that by the way, I know I'm not your most favourite person at the moment." She snorts at that because no he is most definitely her favourite person in the whole world right now! "I just mean it must've taken a lot to call after…yesterday and I'm just really grateful you did."

"This isn't forgiveness Andrew, not even close. This isn't going to become some regular thing either. I don't owe you anything because of this. Understand? I just came to get the answers you owe me." Because that's all she's here for, answers.

"I understand." He says around a gulp. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything. From the beginning." Because they both know what she means by 'the beginning'?

"When mom was killed, it was like we all went into auto mode." He licks his lips as the words leave his mouth and render them dry. "We didn't talk or even acknowledge it. At first I thought that was a good thing, because as long as we didn't talk about it, it was like it wasn't really real, like it didn't even happen."

He takes a deep calming breath and exhales shakily. "But it did. It did happen and when we went to that funeral. It just felt so wrong. Burying our Mom, the one who was going to change the law on retirement age or just work right into her eighties because they couldn't get rid of her."

Kate lets out a light watery chuckle. That was so their Mom.

"People kept saying they were sorry and offering their condolences. It was making me sick, I mean is that supposed to make it all instantly better? Because someone's sorry for you?

I watched them put our mother in the ground and all that had been building up inside since that horrible night just erupted out of me. I couldn't let you or Dad see that, not that day of all days. So I got in my car and just drove.

I didn't know for how long I had been driving or even where I was going. I just drove and drove until I eventually ran out of gas and had to stop."

"Damn it!" A twenty nine year old Andrew slams the door of his car shut. He's stuck in the middle of nowhere, the only thing he knows about this place is that it's definitely not inside the city. He'll have to walk to the next gas station which is who knows how far away.

Luckily, he doesn't have to walk for too long before he finds one. He goes in to get a tank but quickly realises he's left his wallet in the car.

For Christ's sake! Can anything else go wrong today?

"You alright Stranger?" A man chuckles from behind him.

Andrew turns around to find a short but confident looking man in a smart, expensive suit. Italian maybe. He looks around the same age as Andrew and is carrying a large briefcase; he looks all business, a total contrast to his laid back demeanour.

"My car ran out of gas down the road, I walked here to get a tank for it but left my wallet in the car." He tries to make it sound as nonchalant as possible but deduces from the loud bark of laughter coming from the well-dressed man that he failed miserably.

"Here." The man says whilst opening his wallet revealing a bundle of notes and taking a few out and offering them to Andrew.

"Whoa. How do you earn that kind of money?" He doesn't take the offered notes just yet; it's in his nature to be suspicious of someone with so much money hanging around in a place like this. His parents are…were lawyers after all.

The man chuckles again. "Hard work my friend now you want gas or what?"

Andrew hesitates before taking the offered money.

"I'll go fill up my car, drive right back here and pay you back." He says gratefully paying for the fuel.

"No need, I got plenty where that came from. No worries Stranger."

But his mother always taught Andrew that people never gave something for nothing, not people like him.

"I couldn't." He says quickly but is interrupted again.

"You could and you will! I was going to ask an awfully big favour of you anyway Stranger." Guess Mom was right.

"What favour?" Andrew asks apprehensively.

"Just I need a lift to the nearest airport. My car has broken down and I'm in a bit of a hurry you see so I can't wait around for some mechanic. I understand if it's out of your way but I could make it worth your while."

Andrew thinks about this for a few moments. What's the harm? Andrew has no idea where he's going so it wouldn't exactly be out of his way especially since he's not ready to return to the city just yet. What the hell, why not?

"Sure. You'll just have to give me directions to it, I'm not completely sure where I am right now."

The stranger lets out another laugh and surprises Andrew by pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you Stranger!"

Then he's rushing out of the shop in pursuit of Andrew's car leaving Andrew trailing behind and jogging to keep up.

"What's your hurry?"

The man stops and waits for Andrew to catch up before apologising.

"Sorry I just really am in a rush."

"Sure, it's not too far now."

Andrew spends most of the journey with his foot down noting the anxiety of the so far completely laid back man.

"So where you going?" He asks trying to strike up some conversation.

"What?" The man asks startled.

"The airport? Going on holiday or on a business trip or something."

"Mexico actually for business purposes, but I've always been one for mixing business with pleasure so I might catch a bit of sun and enjoy myself while I'm there."

Andrew smiles genuinely at him "Well you look like you certainly have the money to enjoy yourself. Nice suit by the way." Andrew sniggers eliciting a smile from the man.

"Thanks. So I don't even know your name Stranger, how rude of me."

"Andrew and your not the only one that's being rude I still don't know your name either."

"Mark. Nice to meet you Andrew." Andrew shakes his hand with the hand that isn't on the wheel.

"So where are you headed Andrew?" Mark asks curiously.

"I have no idea." Andrew chuckles sadly.

"Journey of discovery?"

"Something like that." He sighs.

Mark picks up something on the floor of the car.

"Johanna Beckett." He reads aloud.

Andrew snatches the funeral program and shoves it in the glove compartment. Eyes no longer meeting Marks.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine." Andrew snaps a little too harshly so repeats himself a bit more calmly "It's fine, I'm sorry I shouldn't have snapped."

"Were you close? The date said it was today."

"She's…she _ was _my mother."

He feels Mark put a friendly comforting hand on his arm and fights the urge to shrug it off immediately.

"I'm sorry man."

Andrew just hums in response as they continue their journey.

They drive for a few hours before Mark announces that it would be best to stop at the next roadside diner and get some coffee, keep them awake for the drive.

"This is good." Mark says sipping at his coffee.

"Better than most coffee I've had from roadside diners."

Suddenly they hear the screeching of wheels and look out of the window just in time to see Andrew's car speeding off into the distance.

He and Mark burst out of their seats but by the time they get outside the diner the car is nowhere to be seen.

"My car!" Andrew yells before he feels a hand on his arm and is suddenly up against the wall, face inches away from an extremely angry looking Mark.

"Your car? YOUR CAR!" My briefcase was in that car!"

Andrew tries to push back but Mark, though smaller than Andrew, is much stronger than he looks and just roughly pushes him against the wall again.

"So buy another one, is whatever's in it that important?"

Suddenly Andrew feels a sharp pain in his nose and… he's bleeding?

"Half a million dollars worth of cocaine important enough for you?" Mark yells before punching him again, this time in the stomach and Andrew feels the bile coming up his throat from the impact but swallows it back down.

"You're a drug dealer!"

Mark's response is a powerful kick to the shin, bringing him to the ground.

"How was I supposed to know my car was going to get stolen? I didn't plan this! Who knows maybe it was one of your druggy friends."

Finally Mark stops his assault and steps back just watching Andrew lay helpless on the ground before he grabs him and pulls him up again.

"Come on we can call a cab from here."

What? This crazy _drug dealer _thinks he's going to be getting in a cab with him?

"Where are we going?" Andrew asks quietly.

"Mexico. Welcome to my organisation Andrew."

"What do you mean?" Andrew asks startled.

"You just lost me half a million dollars. You're gonna earn back that money."

"Dealing drugs?" Andrew breathes and blinks a few times hoping to wake up and all of this to be some weird wacky dream. All of it.

But he doesn't because it isn't.

"So that's where you've been, dealing drugs?" Kate's voice startles him out of his memories.

Kate looks back on their first meeting at the precinct and can't help but make the comparison. The suit. The briefcase. Had Andrew become Mark?

"And you still are?" She goes to stand; he can't be telling her this. She's a cop and has an obligation to arrest him now he's told her that. What is he playing at?

"No, no! I'm not!" He grabs her arm and pulls her back down.

"I was though." He says breathing a long sigh.

"Mark took me to Mexico and I started dealing for him. He's big there you know, got a lot of power in a lot of places. I couldn't just leave and go home. He would have killed me Kate. So I went with it all and you know what? I got good at it.

Mark taught me the ways of the trade and I built up my strength physically too. I was a menacing threat now almost as big as Mark, at first I was his lackey but by the time I'd worked off the half million I didn't want to go so I stayed on…as Mark' partner."

"Andrew!" Kate whispers harshly.

"What Kate? I'd been there for years and it was all I knew, the money was good and I didn't… I didn't realise the impact I was having on people's lives until later on."

"So you couldn't call once to let me and Dad know you were alive? To answer my messages? I told you how bad it had been!" She whispers angrily.

"I know now Kate but well at first I couldn't come back because of Mark but then… I knew you'd hate me, be disgusted by doing something that Mom fought to put people away for. I thought you'd both be better off without me."

Kate wipes a stray tear aggressively. "Well we are. So why are you here now? What is it? Mark on your back and you need me to bail you out?"

"Mark's in jail."

"What? He got caught?"

"Not exactly."

"Then how…?" Kate asks confusedly.

"I put him there."

She looks so confused he thinks he shouldn't have started with that, explained the story fully instead.

"It started a few years back when I got a knock at my door late one night. I open it and there's this girl, she was an addict that I'd been selling to for a few years but hadn't had word from her in months. We had a thing… she was a nice girl who hadn't had the greatest upbringing so turned to drugs. I…I liked her.

So she turns up at my door and I'm about to ask her in when I hear a little cry…she was holding a baby Kate."

Kate gasps. Could she? Does she? Might she have a little niece or nephew out there somewhere?

"Was it yours?"

A bright smile appears on Andrews face.

"Yeah…yeah she was.

Anyway, so she turns up at my door and tells me she's had a baby, my baby. She's stayed off the drugs for the baby's sake and she's the most beautiful thing that I've ever seen Kate. She let me hold her and she was just so…so tiny. I fell head over heels in love.

The girl, Amy's her name, says she wanted the baby to know me but she wants me to give up the drug business like she has and move away somewhere. Start a family with her. And I'm just looking down at this little angel and I can't turn her down. I'd said goodbye to too many good things in my life, I wasn't letting this precious treasure out of my life.

So I went to Mark and I told him everything. I told him I wanted out; he could have all my contacts and money from the drug business he just had to let me go. He tried to talk me out of it at first but I think he could see it was ultimately pointless."

"So you got out?" Kate asks gripped by the story.

"I wish it was so simple…

You see I went to see Amy that night…the door was wide open and the baby was just crying and crying. Amy was…she was unconscious on the sofa. I called an ambulance but it was too late. Drug overdose."

"But I thought she was off the drugs?" Kate's voice pulls him away from the disturbing images of Amy on the sofa that night…

"Exactly. The door was wide open too so… It just all made no sense, well that was until I talked to Mark. 'I did it for your own good Andy. She was going to take your whole life away. You're too good at this to just give up.' God I wanted to kill him. But I didn't, I got clever instead.

I started to see what we did to people. The overdoses and pain caused by the drugs _ I _sold and I knew I couldn't just leave. I had to stop it. Permanently.

I met a cop and told him everything. Of course he wanted to arrest me at first but after I told him how I wanted to take Mark down, one of the biggest dealers exporting drugs into America in Mexico and get on with my life with my baby, he said he'd help me.

We made a deal. I wouldn't go down for anything, could leave the drug dealing world behind and move on no questions asked if I gave them everything: contacts, when the deals are going down, how they exported everything.

We set up a sting; all the big contacts were there as well as Mark. They arrested me too to keep up appearances and sent them all to different prisons all over the country. They tried them all separately so Mark will never know I snitched on him.

I returned to America and have been getting back on my feet ever since, getting a place and a real job."

"Real job?" Kate asks sounding genuinely interested.

"I thought I'd put that degree in accounting to work and called in on some old college friends. One has their own firm right here in New York and took pity on me, gave me a job. I couldn't believe my luck you know, I had no experience at all but he just remembered how good I used to be at it and how I'd once helped him out of a bad situation and well now I'm a real accountant with real clients."

"That…that sounds great Andrew." Maybe her Andrew really was back. Maybe this could be more than answers. Then she realises something. "What about the baby?"

"Oh, right!" A wide smile appears on his face as he pulls out his wallet and hands her a picture of a young girl with brown pigtails and bright green eyes. She's…she's…

"She's beautiful Andrew." She breathes as tears prick her eyes, for the first time this week they're not sad tears, they're happy.

"She really is isn't she?" He says contentedly.

No, she was wrong before, this isn't her Andrew. This is so much better.

"She's why I couldn't come half an hour earlier; I had to sort out a babysitter."

Man had she thought up some wild theories that would rival Castle's earlier when he'd said he had to sort something but she could never have imagined something like this.

"She looks like you as a kid, which can only be a good thing since you've turned out well…"

"You think she looks like me?" Kate's voice cracks a little.

"Can't you see it?"

Then he pulls out a picture that Kate hasn't seen for years that leaves her breathless. He kept it? After all these years?

It's a picture of her and Andrew at her first carnival smiling at the camera mouths full of cotton candy; it was one of the best days of Kate's childhood

"See." He says putting them next to each other. "Practically twins apart from I think you were five and she's just about to turn four."

She has to admit there are a lot of similarities between them and it makes her heart swell.

"She has your nose." She says sweetly.

"Really?" Andrew says breathlessly he'd never been able to see much of himself in his little girl which makes him sad but also a little glad, he wants her to turn out nothing like how he did. He'll make sure she stays on the right side of the law, hopefully with Kate's help.

"Yeah" Kate says softy, nodding encouragingly at him.

He takes one more breath leaving the pictures on the table for her to look at

"So that's why I'm back now. Because Emma, oh right I never told you her name was Emma, well Emma and I are finally settled, I have a job and a great apartment. A few months back I thought I had everything then I opened my wallet one morning and saw the picture of us and…I knew the one thing I was missing because God I missed you and Dad so much.

None of this story is an excuse. I should have called. I should have come back and I'm sorry I didn't. I hope you've gotten the answers you want and deserve and maybe want to do this again?"

He asks it so hesitantly and looks so scared.

"Dad grieved for you as well as Mom you know, so it'll come as a shock and we'll have to approach him carefully but… I don't see why we can't do this again. I…I missed you too. But this doesn't mean you're forgiven just like that. Slow and steady right?"

His smile gets so wide she thinks he's going to actually split his face in two or something, then he's on his feet and hugging her and she can't help but melt into the embrace. After a moment he jumps back.

"Sorry! Sorry I didn't mean to push I just… that's so great. Thank you Kate. Thank you so much for this chance."

She has to smile at his excitement before picking up the pictures on the table and glancing at their one more time before handing them over.

"Keep them." He says quickly confusing her.

"I have lots of copies, I made sure of it."

"Thanks."

She takes the photos slowly and slips them into her bag.

"It's getting late and I have to work in the morning."

Kate doesn't really want to go; she wants to hear about her beautiful niece but knows she has to do the sensible thing right now.

"Okay but come to her birthday party. She turns four on Saturday and it's going to be my first throwing of a birthday party and I could really use some support and help otherwise you might turn up anyway to investigate my murder by a bunch of four year olds."

She giggles at the image and can't help but say yes to a chance to meet her little niece.

"Sure it sounds fun."

They walk out of the coffee shop neither sure what to do.

"So all of that was true? The drug dealing? Mark?"

"Check your databases if you must he'll be on there going down for a very long time."

"I do believe you it's just wow. You were a drug dealer and now you're a Dad. You!"

They both laugh at that.

"See you Saturday Kate."

Then they're hugging again and she realises just how much she's missed his hugs. She allows herself to relax into it but not for too long. She understands now, but the pain of those years alone is still so fresh and she'll need time to get past all of that, to truly forgive him.

They walk off in different directions until she hear him call after her.

"Oh and bring someone if you want. _Anyone._"

Then he's walking of laughing. Anyone? Oh no. She can't help groaning at the thought that her brother has only been back in her life for about five minutes and he's already teasing her about…something.

Who's she kidding? About Castle.

What the hell had he told Andrew yesterday?

Then she just laughs, because she doesn't even care. She's meeting her niece on Saturday.

_So I'm a liar. Sorry! I really thought I'd have more time to write but I have been soooooo busy. I won't make a promise this time about uploading frequently because I now know I can't keep that promise, I'll write as much as I can as I love writing for fanfiction like a lot. I've also not uploaded for ages as I've been working on a few other ideas when I wasn't busy so you may see me uploading something new soon on top of this, but no promises again._

_So I hope you like this chapter, it literally came out of nowhere when I thought where could Andrew have been. Sorry again if there's any mistakes because I just wanted to upload for you guys asap. But it is longer so you have to give me credit for that :')_

_Thanks everyone who's reviewed and story alerted etc. they really make me happy and proud so really thank you so much._

_And don't forget to review this chapter! Xxx_


	7. Chapter 7

What is she doing?

She has no idea.

Well she does really. She knows exactly what she's doing.

She's on her way to Castle's loft to pick him up and take him to her estranged ex-_drug dealer_ turned accountant and _father _brother's daughter's (her _niece's!_) birthday party! She definitely knows what she's doing right now; she just has no idea why she's doing it.

She had decided after the meeting with Andrew that she would go alone. Sure it would be awkward and she'd probably just want to find a quiet corner and hide in it but she was going to her niece's party, a niece she'd only found out she had the other day, born from her brother's drug dealing profession. Yeah this story was crazy enough without adding Castle to the mix.

But then yesterday he'd asked her if everything was okay and opened a whole can of worms…

"I'm fine Castle." She smiles, hoping it looks convincing because in reality she is anything but fine. There's nothing for him to worry about anyway, there's nothing actually wrong she's just simply out of her mind nervous about tomorrow.

"Are you sure?" He says interrogatively.

She breathes a heavy sigh. She should tell him right? They are partners and he did persuade her into doing it in the first place. Besides, she already told him the rest.

"I called Andrew." She busies herself sorting some pieces of paper that were already in the right order attempting to make it sound as nonchalant as possible.

"Oh." He seems shocked that she had actually listened to his advice and gone through with getting in contact with her brother. "What happened?"

"We met for coffee." She's still fiddling with random papers, looking anywhere but his eyes.

He gently takes the papers out of her hands and sets them down on the desk. She looks over at him bemusedly but at least she's finally meeting his gaze, he thinks.

"Kate. _What happened_?" He says it more forcibly this time not allowing her to look away or pass this off as nothing.

So she tells him everything. About Mark, the drug dealing, Canada, Amy and the baby. Everything, from start to finish.

"Wow." He breathes afterwards, eyes wide.

"Yep."

"That's worthy of one of my novels."

"Yeah, almost a work of fiction."

Rick raises his eyebrow at that. "You don't believe him?"

Kate exhales slowly "I do. Andrew was never a good liar and I could just see the true pain in his eyes. It's more like I don't want to believe it. I mean Andrew was as straight as they came when the law was concerned, I just can't even see it. A _drug dealer_? What the hell? I arrest people for stuff like that, I could've arrested him! How did this even happen?"

"Life can be crazy. Some people lose someone close to them and become drug dealers, some others detectives." He smiles softly after the last bit and she can't help but reciprocate.

"So are you going?"

"Going?"

"To the party?"

"Oh I think so; I mean I want to meet her, Emma. I want to meet my niece of course. I'm just not…"

"Ready to forgive him and play happy families yet?"

"Yes." She forgets sometimes, just how much he really knows her. "What would you do?"

"Well you said that you made it pretty clear he wasn't near forgiven yet right?"

She nods in agreement.

"Well then go, you don't have to act like nothing has happened or anything just go and be your usual civil and polite self, meet your niece and have some fun. You do know the meaning of that word right?" He chuckles.

She play glares at him but can't help the small smile that escapes.

"I just think it'll be so awkward, me, him and all these kids. I just don't know if it'll just become…too much for me."

"Well he said you could bring someone right?"

She doesn't like where this is going.

"Yeah…" She says hesitantly.

"So take me."

"What?" Kate splutters.

"I love kids and with Alexis as evidence I believe I'm rather good with them so could help out and fill any awkward moments between you and Andrew."

Kate's not sure what to say but figures she should say something soon instead of just sitting there gaping at him.

"Umm…"

"Or not, you know. It was just a suggestion. I mean that's what partners are for right?"

"No, no. I mean yes. I mean…" She groans at her lack of articulation, taking a breath before continuing "What I mean is thank you, it would be a great help, but really don't feel obliged to if you have plans or something."

She couldn't believe she'd just said yes and what was Andrew going to say? He'd so called this.

Please say you have plans Castle. _Please _say you have plans!

"No, no plans."

Damn it. This is a disaster. It's terrible. A complete catastrophe! Then why is she smiling?

A car horn knocks her back into reality and she looks back to see a growing line of traffic behind her.

"Shit." She quickly steps on the gas continuing on her journey to Castle's loft.

"Where are you off to Richard?" Martha asks as she sees her son fiddling his hair in the mirror, a particular nervous trait of his. He wanted to look good today, the only question was why.

"Just helping Beckett out with something."

Martha raises an eyebrow at him inquisitively. "It's Saturday and I believe her day off so not a murder, especially wearing that suit and playing with your hair. So what are you 'helping' her out with Richard?"

"Is the accusing tone really necessary mother?"

She just gives him an impatient look that tells him not to mess with her because their jokes aside she's still his mother and he's just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and better start explaining.

"I'm just going with her to her niece's birthday party, okay? No biggie."

"Beckett has a niece?"

Thank God that's the part his mother focuses on first.

"It's relatively new, Beckett's estranged brother turned up out of the blue earlier this week after fifteen years away and you don't want to hear the whole story but basically he has a daughter and Kate's going to meet her and try to restart some kind of relationship with her brother."

"Kate huh?" She chuckled but carries on before he can say anything "So why are you going Richard?"

"Because I'm her partner, we have each other's backs and I'm going to fill the awkward silences and help out with the kids, you know? If there's one thing I didn't screw up in my life it was taking care of Alexis when she was younger and I chaperoned quite a few of her birthday parties whereas K-Beckett and Andrew aren't so prepared for children on full on sugar rushes. So-"

His speech is interrupted by a knock at the door. He looks like he wants to finish his explanation but his mother quickly shushes him.

"Whatever you say Richard, just answer the door before the poor women leaves. What have I always taught you? Never leave a lady waiting."

"Yes Mother." He calls already making his way towards the door.

When Kate arrived she kept trying to turn around, call him and cancel but with every step she took, no matter how nervous she was, she just couldn't. It was when she got to his door though that all the work that those steps had done fell through.

It took her a whole five minutes to quit pacing and knock on the door.

'I could just go right now, without him. Say that the offer was kind but not necessary and I'd rather do this on my own, like I always do everything. Well that is, until Castle came along…' She had thought before quickly knocking on the door before she could stop herself because as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she really doesn't want to do this on her own this time.

He didn't answer as quickly as usual and she had to stop herself several times from turning around and just leaving.

But then he'd answered the door…

"Hey Kate, you look great."

She's wearing casual top and jeans that compared to her, admittedly sexy as hell, work clothes make her seem warmer. It's almost like, right now, he is seeing Kate not Detective Beckett.

She on the other hand falters slightly at the use of her first name before realising he'd been calling her Kate a lot recently, but she had been telling him some of her deepest secrets and was now taking him to her niece's birthday. So she guesses they've passed the first name basis by now. She then blushes at his complement mumbling a quiet thankyou. She had just thrown on her favourite jeans and a random top, put on only slightly more makeup than she would for work and let the natural curls of her hair flow free.

"You too." She adds taking in his nice suit she assumes he reserves for outside of the precinct where there's no threat of a suspect chase or anything else ruining it and his slightly more styled than usual hair that she just wants to run her fingers through and play with.

Wait what? 'Run her fingers through and play with'? Where the hell had that come from? Sure Castle had _okay_ (awesome) hair, as a woman she could admit that without it meaning anything right? It was a simple fact, so much so that maybe a woman, like any woman, would like to run their fingers through it quickly to you know test the thickness and lusciousness or whatever, like an experiment. Yes, the whole thing was for scientific discovery, that's exactly it… and she always had loved…science.

Shit. He's been talking to her and she's been too busy staring at his hair to realise but now he's looking at her expectantly and she doesn't know what to say.

"Huh?" She asks instead.

"I asked you if you wanted to come in for a moment while a grab my coat and stuff."

Then he's walking back into the apartment not bothering to wait for a reply and all she can do is follow, closing the door behind her and sitting down on the couch closest to the door while he disappears, she assumes into his bedroom, to grab his belongings.

"Kate darling!" Kate startles at the sudden noise emanating from the stairs behind her.

"Martha hi." Kate replies at a considerably lower volume.

"Richard told me you were going to your young niece's birthday party, are you sure you can handle a bunch of three and four year olds on sugar rush?" Martha giggles.

"Well I deal with Castle on a daily basis I'm sure the kids will be a piece of cake compared."

Martha barks out a deep laugh and Kate joins in enjoying the older woman's company.

"What'll be a piece of cake?" Both women's heads whip around to see Castle has re-entered the room.

"Nothing." They both speak quickly before laughing again at themselves.

Castle simply stares at them confused and suspicious before a smile graces his features at how well Kate and his mother seem to be getting along, how well they always do. Mothers were supposed to hate the girlfriend. Not that Beckett was anything like his girlfriend or ever would be. They were partners, best friends and nothing else and right now she needed him as, and only as, her partner and best friend so that's what he was going to be. He had to get silly thoughts like that out of his head right now.

"Ready to go?" Kate asks when the laughter dies down.

"Yep. We won't be too long Mother, try not to wreck the apartment while I'm gone." He says teasingly.

"Really Richard is there no trust?" She asks feigning offence.

"Of course there is. I trust completely in your ability to destroy our home."

"Ha ha. Very funny Richard. Now haven't you got a birthday party to go to?"

Kate had been, up to this point, watching the unconventional interaction between mother and son affectionately. Some would look on and think the two weren't very close or didn't get along that well but she knew the teasing was just their weird way of showing each other they cared and she found it extremely endearing. But Martha mentioning the party brings Kate back on track again.

"Yeah the drives not too far but I said we'd be there by two." Kate says whilst looking at her watch to sees that it's almost ten to two already.

"Right, goodbye Mother." He says kissing her cheek and heading towards the door.

"Bye Martha." Kate calls over her shoulder while following Castle and smiling kindly at him when he opens the door and waits for her to exit first.

They drive in relative silence until he catches a glimpse of something pink on one of the back seats, a gift bag. He reaches for it and puts it in his lap.

"Oh I got her a gift; it's just a simple cuddly toy. Do you think she'll like it?" She looks so nervous, he thinks it's cute.

He looks inside the bag before pulling out a small yellow bunny rabbit. It's soft and by the look of the stitches, hand stitched. It's not some manufactured piece of junk but something a child would actually enjoy hugging.

"I know it's not much but I didn't know what she did or didn't like and thought doesn't every little kid have at least one cuddly toy in their life? So I just-"

"It's perfect Kate." He cuts off her anxious ranting "just perfect."

"You think?" She asks tentatively.

He nods with confidence and is happy to see hers grow a little with it.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just a little nervous."

Castle can't help but chuckle. "A little?"

Kate lets out her own laugh before becoming serious again. "I mean what if she doesn't like me because I haven't been around at all so far in her life? What if she doesn't even want me there? Do I stay and try to make it work or leave her be? What if-"

"_What if_ Kate has a nervous breakdown whilst driving to a children's birthday party and crashes the car, killing the both of us over 'what ifs'."

She sighs deeply "I just don't want to mess it up."

"You won't. And even if, by the smallest chance, you do I'll be right there helping you fix it, I've got your back today as always."

She smiles genuinely at him, visibly relaxing at his words and apparently just in time as they arrive at Andrew's apartment building.

"Ready?" He asks her encouragingly.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

They both get out of the car and head into the building. He stands closer to her than usual in the elevator to remind her again that he's there for her today and he thinks she gets the message as she leans against him slightly. Because partners can stand in each other's personal space and lean on each other without it being weird, right? Because that's all they are and all they'll ever be. Partners.

When they get to the correct floor they don't really need to check the door number as the big pink 'Birthday Girl' banner and sound of children's shrieks is indication enough to the correct apartment. She knocks firmly and quite loudly ensuring it is heard above the children and is greeted with the sight of Andrew sporting a load of pink hair bands and clips in his hair, glitter all over his face and lipstick that has obviously been applied by one of the kids covering just about everywhere but his actual lips. Kate and Rick struggle to hold back their laughter at the sight.

"Well this takes me back."

"Hey I was a good brother letting you do _this _to me, even after you told just about the whole school."

Kate has to laugh at that. "Yeah well I was very proud of my makeovers on you,"

"You played makeover? That is such an anti-Kate Beckett thing to do." Castle blurts out in surprise.

"Hey, I was a little girl once you know. I didn't dream of solving murders all my life."

Andrew laughs still not quite believing that his little sister Katie hunts killers for a living.

"Well come in, Emma has been dying to meet you. Ever since I told her you were coming, it's all been when is Aunt Katie coming? Do you think Aunt Katie will like my dress? Etc. etc. She's a bit nervous to meet you."

Rick almost laughs at the parallel situations but his happiness at seeing Kate almost light up with joy at the fact that the little girl is excited to meet her overpowers the humour of the situation.

Little girls run around the nicely furnished yet homely living room in a rush of pink and glitter.

"Emma!" Andrew shouts out before Rick sees one little girl dressed in a pink princess costume with matching tiara come up behind Andrew hiding behind one of his legs.

"Emma this is your Aunty Kate, she's really excited to meet you, you wanna say hi?" He says softly, coaxing the shy girl out from behind him.

The girl hugs her father's leg tightly but looks up at Kate before reach out a hesitant hand. "It's nice to meet you Aunt Kate." The words come out quiet and Rick thinks he's never heard something so polite, especially coming from a four year old excited on her birthday. Then he notices the striking resemblance to Kate, she's exactly like a younger version of her. Rick makes a mental note to ask Andrew for a picture of Kate as a child at some point just to test his theory.

Kate smiles softly and gently shakes the offered hand. "It's nice to meet you too Emma."

Then Emma turns towards her father putting a hand over her mouth and tries to whisper but apparently she hasn't mastered the skill yet as they all hear her loud and clear.

"Daddy you said she was pretty but you didn't say she was a pwincess!"

Andrew and Rick laugh while both Kate and Emma blush, Kate at the compliment and Emma at having been heard.

Andrew picks Emma up and kisses her cheek. "Well I did say she looked like you my little princess."

Kate has to hold back tears at the sight. Her big brother, her _Andrew, _is a dad, and a really good one. She's never felt so proud.

"Did you do your own makeup Katie?" Emma asks a bit more confidently this time.

"Yes, in fact I did Emma, do you like it?"

"Yeah, you look really pretty Aunt Kate."

Kate smiles "Thank you Emma, you look really pretty too."

Emma smiles wildly at her words. "Thankyou Aunt Katie, I'm supposed to be a pwincess but Daddy can't do the makeup right." Emma huffs. "No o- of- o-, what's the word Daddy?"

"Offense?"

"That's it!" Emma squeals enthusiastically "No offense Daddy."

Andrew chuckles "None taken sweetie."

"Could you do it?" Emma asks sweetly. "Pweeeease Aunty Kate."

Kate looks at Andrew questioningly while he just shrugs and smiles at her.

"Okay Emma, just a little bit yeah?"

"Yay!" Emma squeals practically jumping out of her father's arms onto the floor taking Kate's hand and pulling her towards the couch area where Kate sees a bundle of makeup spread across the coffee table. "Thankyou! Thankyou! Thankyou!"

Soon a big crowd surrounds them as all the little girls want to become princesses.

"Okay, okay! One princess at a time!" Kate chuckles to the girls whilst applying a little bit of glitter eye shadow to Emma's eyes and some pink lip gloss to her lips, readjusting her tiara slightly as it's been knocked off centre slightly by all the excitement of the party. Then she gets a big brush and puts a little glitter on it before patting Emma's nose and cheeks with it then whispering in her ear "You know what this is Emma?" When she receives a simple head shake she continues. "This is special princess glitter only for special birthday princesses so only you're gonna get some today." Emma practically squeaks with excitement before launching herself at Kate hugging her tightly taking Kate aback slightly until she squeezes the little girl back before she takes off into the kitchen where Andrew and Rick are drinking coffee, Andrew obviously relieved to have a break from chaperoning for a little while.

"Look Daddy! Aunt Katie did my makeup, now I look like a real pwincess just like her!"

Andrew chuckles "You look beautiful sweetie."

Emma just smiles wider before leaning in closer to Rick and Andrew keeping her voice low. "She put on the special birthday princess glitter but don't tell anyone! No one else can have it because they're not birthday princesses today!" Both men fight to keep a straight face at he complete seriousness.

"We won't tell a soul princess."

"Pinkie promise?" She asks putting up her little finger.

Andrew links it with his "Pink promise."

"You too Mr… Uh…"

"I'm Rick sweetie, Aunty Kate's friend and I wont tell anyone either." He says also linking pinkies with her.

"Good! It's nice to meet you Rick."

Then she's off back into the living room again. "Ellie would look nice with blue eyes Aunt Katie!" She yells before sitting next to Kate handing her things and advising her on what makeup to put on whom.

"She's good with them." Rick says happily.

"Yeah, she always has been. We had some little cousins when Kate was mid-teens and she'd go over there all the time to play with them, even cancel big plans with friends to babysit. She loved it and they loved her. Anytime I tried to pick one of them up it'd be all 'we want Katie!' Being rejected by a five year old doesn't give you the greatest feeling."

Rick laughs and looks over at Kate again to see her tickling Emma's side making the girl giggle loudly.

"She even convinced herself she wanted to be a kindergarten teacher at one point before she realised she loved law so much but she always said she wanted kids. She even went through this dramatic phase at fifteen when she said if she found out she couldn't have kids she's kill herself, that not having children would make her life not worth living. A few months later she laughed at herself saying she'd gone a bit OTT about the whole thing but to a certain degree I think she was kind of serious. That's why I was surprised to find she hadn't settled down and had some yet. But I guess I was surprised to find her putting killers behind bars as a detective instead of a lawyer, you know." Andrew huffs a sad breath. "Things change, I missed a lot, screwed up a lot. I don't know if she's told you but-"

"She's told me." Rick confirms.

"You think she'll ever forgive me?"

"Maybe." Rick answers honestly. "She may be tough sometimes and if you hurt her really badly, like I think you did, it'll take a lot for her to forgive you but I think hearing your story has helped and if you don't push her and just let her forgive in her own time you may have a chance. Man I've screwed up quite a few times and she's let me back plus Emma, I can see Kate has already fallen in love with that little cutie, so she'll never be able to block you out now with her around." Rick jokes.

"I hope so. Life's not been the same without her around, even this new kickass Detective her and I'm pretty sure Emma's feeling the same way about her anyway, this is gonna be like our cousins all over again! I can't handle that kind of rejection from my own daughter!"

Rick chuckles clasping a supportive hand on his back.

Once all of the princesses had had their makeup done Andrew had started getting them to play some 'princess party games' like princess pass the parcel and princess pin the tail on the donkey. Kate had had to restrain Rick from joining in although was extremely quick to offer him up when the girls had wanted to do another princess makeover of their own. He seemed happy to though, making the girls giggle the whole way through and Kate got flashes of what she thought he must have been like with Alexis growing up.

Afterwards she had laughed so hard her eyes had gotten teary before saying he looked beautiful and bursting into another fit of laughter only to be interrupted by Emma calling out to her father.

"Is it time for cake yet Daddy?" Her eyes are almost sparkling with anticipation for the sugary treat. Andrew looks at his watch and sees that parents should actually be arriving in not too long so now would be a good time to bring out her overpriced, but definitely worth it for that smile on her face, princess cake.

"Yeah, let me just set it up. You wanna go gather everyone sweetie?"

"Okay Daddy!" Then she's rushing back out of the room and it's not long before the adults hear her ordering everyone to gather around for the cake.

They all share a laugh.

"She really is like you Kate. The spitting image and bossy."

Andrew laughs while Kate elbows Rick in the side.

"Funny Castle."

"Nice cake." Rick comments as Andrew begins sticking the candles in the multilayered pink princess cake complete with palace and horses.

"Yeah well it caught Emma's eye on a shopping trip and you should have seen the look on her face, I practically had to drag her away from the shop window."

Rick and Kate chortle before entering the living room first while Andrew lights the four candles and turns out the light. Kate sees that Emma has left a space next to her on the couch and goes to take it when she feels Emma tug on her sleeve.

"Aunt Katie, can I sit on you lap then Rick can sit next to us and we'll all have room. Daddy's always scared I'll put my hair in the candles and you can stop it this time. Pweeeease."

Well how could Kate say no to that?

So she lifts up the small girl whilst shuffling over and deposits her in her lap, allowing Rick to sit down next to them.

As soon as they're comfortable Andrew enters with the cake and everyone begins singing/shouting happy birthday. Emma giggles when the cake is right in front of her and Kate starts whispering in her ear.

"So when you blow the candles out Emma you've got to think of a wish, and make it a really good one, because sometimes birthday wishes really do come true."

Emma turns to look at her saying "I wanna wish for-"

"Shhhh silly!" Kate laughs, "You can't tell me, now or ever, or it might not come true!"

"Oh!" Emma says in all serious before closing her eyes and blowing out all four candles in one as a camera flashes, temporarily confusing Kate until she realises Andrew gave Rick the cake to hold still and grabbed his camera quickly, wanting to capture his baby girl's first birthday wish.

After that Kate and Rick mainly help Andrew make the party bags and cut the cake into pieces to put in them then watch as Emma says goodbye individually to all her friends. Who knew a four year old could have such a social life? A few parents come and talk to Kate and she introduces herself and accepts all the kind words about how amazingly kind and polite her niece is and she cant help but agree and feel a little bit more proud every time.

When everyone is gone they help clean up, despite Andrew's protests, and they're just about to leave when Kate remembers something.

"Wait here." She tells them heading towards the kitchen where she'd left the gift bag when they'd first arrived.

"Here you go Emma, happy birthday." Emma squeals and hugs Kate's legs despite her growing tiredness whilst Andrew gives her a look that says 'you didn't have to'.

"Thankyou Aunt Kate." Emma says taking the bag and pulling out the stuffed toy.

"Daddy look! It's a bunny rabbit just like the one we saw at the pet store but even cuter and softer!" Emma pulls the teddy bear towards her chest. "It's so cuddly! I'll call you… Benjamin!"

"Benjamin eh?" Kate smiles at her, obviously pleased with the child's reaction.

" Yeah! Benjamin the bunny rabbit! Thankyou Aunt Katie!"

"That's okay sweetie, you just take good care of Benjamin for me and make sure you give him lots of cuddles. Benjamin loves cuddles."

"So do… I!" Emma squeals in childlike wonder, although she is interrupted by a yawn half way through showing truly how the day really has worn the girl out.

"Okay time to say goodbye Emma before you fall asleep on us."

"Okay Daddy." She reaches her arms up at Kate signalling that she wants to be lifted then kisses Kate's cheek before putting her small arms around her neck in a tight hug.

"Bye Aunt Katie." She whispers against her neck and Kate takes a moment longer to enjoy the embrace before she feels Emma let go and lean towards Rick and kissing his cheek.

"It was a pl- ple- pleasure?" She looks to Andrew for confirmation of the word and smiles as he nods proudly. "It was a pleasure to meet you Rick, thankyou for letting us give you a makeover."

Rick chuckles "That's quite alright, I had fun."

Then Kate puts her down on the ground and follows Andrew to the kitchen as he insists they should take some cake back with them since there is plenty left over.

"Thankyou for coming today Kate. She was really looking forward to meeting you and she looked like she had a lot of fun." He says wrapping up some cake, smiling at her gratefully.

"I had a lot of fun too; she's a lovely girl Andrew. You've raised her well."

"Thank you." Andrew says sincerely leaning in for a quick hug, incredibly relieved when she hugs him back. It's a short, quick hug but he doesn't mind too much. 'Baby-steps.' He just keeps thinking 'baby-steps'.

"And thankyou for coming also Rick, it was great seeing you again. Hopefully we'll be seeing each other more often." He ends with a slightly teasing tone, his eyes flicking quickly towards Kate then back at Rick and Kate has to stop herself stamping forcefully on his foot.

"Me too Andrew." Rick answers shaking the man's hand.

They walk into the living room and Andrew goes to call out for Emma when Kate shushes him.

"Look..." She whispers pointing towards the sofa where Emma is curled up, Benjamin tucked protectively under her chin. She looks so peaceful…so adorable.

Andrew chuckles quietly. "That bunny really must work; she doesn't usually drop off like that even after a busy day."

"I'm glad, I would have got her more but I had no idea-"

"Kate. It's great really and she loves it, although I think you coming was probably the best gift you could have given her today. We'll have to arrange something for next week; you can take her shopping or something if you like. Apparently I have 'terrible fashion taste'." Andrew moans jokily.

"Sure I'd love that."

Andrew walks them to the door and watches, waving, until the elevator doors close. He then re-enters his apartment, gently lifts Emma up and puts her to bed.

As Kate drives Rick home they mainly speak of the weather and how they hope they won't catch a case tonight and can just get a long night's sleep (who knew a four year olds' party could take so much out of you?).

But when they park up and Rick goes to leave with a quick 'goodbye' Kate finds herself reaching out to stop him.

"Thankyou." She says quickly, slightly out of breath.

"Oh it was fun, brought back memories of Alexis at that age. You don't have to thank me at all."

"Well I am thankful, and I don't just mean for coming to the party and letting the kids mess you up. I mean have you looked in a mirror Castle?" Kate pauses to giggle. "Not just for that but for everything since Andrew reappeared, if you hadn't persuaded me to call him I may have never even met Emma. I mean she's beautiful and just perfect!"

Rick smiles at her with a knowing look.

"What?"

"Nothing just it's nice to see you like this. It's a change from the tough as boots Detective Beckett, although she can be pretty awesome too. It's still… I don't know…nice I guess." He smiles sheepishly while she rolls her eyes.

"Well don't go getting used to it, Detective Beckett is right back again tomorrow, I'll call you if a body drops and don't you dare tell the boys about this, their teasing will be endless. I'm still yet to tell Lanie." She groans.

"Haha, well good luck with that Detective." He says getting out of the car. "Until next time."

Then he's disappeared back into his apartment leaving Kate with mixed feelings about the whole day.

You see…

She has a problem.

He was great with the kids, talked to Andrew a lot and made her laugh countless times. She was glad she'd taken him. The problem wasn't in taking him and having a good time. Not at all.

The problem was that she's almost had too good a time. It'd felt_ too _natural letting Castle into her newly reforming family, playing together with the kids and reprimanding him for his sillier moments.

But she has too much going on in her life right now with Andrew and Emma to wonder about what was going on with her and Castle.

Then she realises something. She still has to tell her Dad.

_Again sorry for the long wait I have had no free time and when I've had even the shortest moment I was updating my other story which I'm proud to have uploaded weekly. So to cope with the wait maybe you could read that ;)  
>And as apology for the wait I made this extra long as you may notice. <em>

_But where do I go from here? Any ideas?_

_Review please! They are so appreciated so thankyou to previous reviewers and alerters, I really do listen and take them into serious consideration._

_xxx_


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